Cold hands, warm shart.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Come on in and take your pants off
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