when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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