Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
