Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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