Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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