The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
So squirting runs in the family.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
