The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
operation harelip BJ is a go
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
