Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
