No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
