I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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