I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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