ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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