she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
