Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(571): View more from Virginia

dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest

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(310): View more from California

She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"

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(765): View more from Indiana

I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.

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(613): View more from Ontario

I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.

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(313): View more from Michigan

My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.

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(509): View more from Washington

Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.

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(805): View more from California

I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.

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(239): View more from Florida

If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now

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(903): View more from Texas

Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.

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