Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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