Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
