I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
