I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
