Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
