It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
