wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
