So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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