Im at strip club and am horny
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
