I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize