this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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