bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
