i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
