I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
