I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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