mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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