HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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