need another drink. this is the easiest way
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
