come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
