I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
