My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
you will always have a special place in my vag
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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