but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Sext me about skeletons
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
