then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
