my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize