as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
