So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
