all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
