i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
