i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
