The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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