we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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