My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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