This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
