Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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