What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
