... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
