Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
