I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
