My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
