ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
