im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
