i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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