Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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