just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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